One Week Left....

So, I went to my first "Union Meeting" last night. This apparently consists of three people I went to law school with catching up over a cocktail one night a month. I almost didn't go, as all those people passed the bar on their first attempt and are not in my particular hell right now.

But I got over my pity party and went, and I was glad I did. L, who by the way is one of those skinny, attractive, perfectly dressed women who I always hate a little bit, even though she's completely likable, told a story about how she went to a TRO hearing in another county and got raked over the coals by the bailiff and judge there.

I felt so much better about myself. Isn't that horrible? It just seems like I make constant mistakes at work. Even when I haven't made a mistake, my boss seems to feel the need to tell me I did anyway. So, for L to have a bad day made me feel normal. And believe me, I have not felt normal for a while. Almost six months to be exact.

So, today is one week. Seven days. I don't know how many minutes... I alternate between desperation to KNOW ALREADY and the desire to push it back another two months so I don't have to face the possibility of bad news. I can already sense the impending complete emotional and mental breakdown if I see the same screen as November. I think I teared up for a couple of minutes on November 16, and then I had one or two temporary breakdowns of crying. Other than that, I mostly focused on how to correct this situation, so I think if it happens again, I will be due for THE BIG ONE. It won't be pretty.

Still not sure what to do on the final day. Last time I stayed home from work, but I don't know if I can do that again. It was excruciating even sitting at home.

Well, at least I have the magnum of Gary Farrell pinot ready to go in the wine fridge. I think I may open it about 5:00 p.m. and start the countdown. If nothing else, I will have good wine to get me through.