Laziness...

"It takes a long time to bring excellence to maturity"
~Syrus

So, I have lofty goals, but I have not been achieving them.

The last two times, I was diligent. I studied. I put in the time. I learned what I needed to learn. And then it didn't pay off. Twice. So, getting up the energy and excitement to go through that process again is proving exceedingly difficult.

I have studied not one iota today.

Instead, I went to littel J's kindergarten readiness testing, the bank, the grocery store, washed the car, drank two glasses of wine while I chatted with my dad, and now we are having a friend over to dinner, after which we will drink more wine and play poker until the kids wear out and need to go to bed.

Not exactly bar passage behavior.

But, jeez, the other way didn't work, and I still know all the same crap I knew in February, minus some slight memorization that I can't get back until a week or two prior anyway, and there was not a thing on that exam that I didn't know in February, so it's tough... REALLY tough, to get going.

This must be why repeaters have such a hard time passing compared to first timers.