"Simplicity is the outward sign and symbol of depth of thought."
~Lin Yuang
I really wish I could get enough depth of thought, then.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Graduation...
Today I am attending the next graduation of my law school. I wouldn't go, except my good friend, A, will be graduating today. Yay!
Then I get to go see the Poets and Pirates Tour with one of my oldest friends from high school. (Crimony, I still hang out with people I knew in high school? Yup.) So, that will be great. Sit, drink, sing, not have to worry about anything, that's a good Sunday evening.
So, in a way, I guess I might experience a wash of failure at sitting through graduation having not passed yet, but this past week really put things in perspective for me. Also, the relief of having time has washed over me, so I think that trumps all other feelings of misery.
I was sitting through class yesterday, and yes, I was nervously thinking of the lengthy list of what I needed to get done before the THREE DAYS, but also, I was relieved, because this time I will actually have the luxury of time. Time to learn what I need to do without feeling like I need to do it as quickly as possible so I can still clean up the kitchen and make the kids lunches and make it to work on time and do laundry and all the other regular life stuff.
I just feel like I have given myself a gift now. Permission to do what I need to. Permission to take time.
I have been struggling to not feel guilty about it, because of the inherent mom orientation of wanting to take care of everyone else and leaving myself last, but I'm working diligently to quash those feelings of guilt every time they begin to arise. It's okay if I don't contribute a salary while studying. It's okay if I don't have a clean house. It's okay if I take the time I need to study. It's okay if I take the time and money to protect my health and sanity. All of these things are perfectly okay.
I don't know why it's so hard for me to do these things for myself, when I would tell any one of my friends those same things and mean them wholeheartedly. I guess it's easier to be generous and compassionate with others than it is yourself, when you're used to being a perfectionist overachiever.
Oh, dear god, Paula Deen is eating a breakfast sandwich that is two Krispy Creme doughnuts with a fried egg and bacon on it. Talk about a heart attack on a plate. Actually, it looks kind of good... Everything is better with doughnuts, right?
I think it's time to turn FoodTV off.
Then I get to go see the Poets and Pirates Tour with one of my oldest friends from high school. (Crimony, I still hang out with people I knew in high school? Yup.) So, that will be great. Sit, drink, sing, not have to worry about anything, that's a good Sunday evening.
So, in a way, I guess I might experience a wash of failure at sitting through graduation having not passed yet, but this past week really put things in perspective for me. Also, the relief of having time has washed over me, so I think that trumps all other feelings of misery.
I was sitting through class yesterday, and yes, I was nervously thinking of the lengthy list of what I needed to get done before the THREE DAYS, but also, I was relieved, because this time I will actually have the luxury of time. Time to learn what I need to do without feeling like I need to do it as quickly as possible so I can still clean up the kitchen and make the kids lunches and make it to work on time and do laundry and all the other regular life stuff.
I just feel like I have given myself a gift now. Permission to do what I need to. Permission to take time.
I have been struggling to not feel guilty about it, because of the inherent mom orientation of wanting to take care of everyone else and leaving myself last, but I'm working diligently to quash those feelings of guilt every time they begin to arise. It's okay if I don't contribute a salary while studying. It's okay if I don't have a clean house. It's okay if I take the time I need to study. It's okay if I take the time and money to protect my health and sanity. All of these things are perfectly okay.
I don't know why it's so hard for me to do these things for myself, when I would tell any one of my friends those same things and mean them wholeheartedly. I guess it's easier to be generous and compassionate with others than it is yourself, when you're used to being a perfectionist overachiever.
Oh, dear god, Paula Deen is eating a breakfast sandwich that is two Krispy Creme doughnuts with a fried egg and bacon on it. Talk about a heart attack on a plate. Actually, it looks kind of good... Everything is better with doughnuts, right?
I think it's time to turn FoodTV off.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Faith...
"It would break my heart if, in falling short of my goal, I in any way discouraged any of you from pursuing yours," she said. "When you stumble, keep faith. And, when you're knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can't or shouldn't go on."
~Hillary Clinton (in her nomination concession speech)
I try not to get on a politics soapbox, so this is not an endorsement in any way, but I like this quote. It seems fitting for me right now. Keep the faith, everyone!
~Hillary Clinton (in her nomination concession speech)
I try not to get on a politics soapbox, so this is not an endorsement in any way, but I like this quote. It seems fitting for me right now. Keep the faith, everyone!
Mush...
Went to class all day...
brain is now mush.
Did okay for the morning, but I didn't eat anything at the lunch break, so after two hours of Con Law and Property in the afternoon, I was dizzy and couldn't see straight. Can I just say how much I despise Con Law? It's not even that it's THAT hard, it just brings back memories of the teacher I hated and the contentious arrogant people who were in my class... that was just a horrible year of class.
So now, I suck at Con Law as a result.
Property, on the other hand, I loved, but the lecture consisted of going over a really, really difficult real covenants and equitable servitudes question that makes my brain turn in circles.
But I did learn a few things, such as how I need to address my inadequacies at the more linear subjects like contracts. I'm going to do my own timeline, plugging in where every single little rule and doctrine goes, so when I get an essay, I have the visual breakdown, in order, in my head. My problem on organization is that I know the rules, but it doesn't seem like it, because I tend to say each rule as they come to me, not necessarily in the order they are supposed to go, as in, UCC 2-207 goes under acceptance, not interpretation of the contract terms.
I'm sure this is nothing new, and I could probably find some kind of study aid that does this for me, but the act of doing it and synthesizing the issues is the important part for me. That's how I learn it.
Oh, and I got my essays back from the February debacle, and I started reading them, and I just didn't get what was so bad about my torts essay. Seemed like I covered the issues, and in the proper order. I think I just lost holistic points because my language is not strong enough. I like to say "likely" and "may" and "could" instead of "will" and "is".
Ironically, I do the best on the subjects I know the least, like crim pro and trusts and wills. Trusts I did not study at all, except for checking the duties of a trustee five minutes before I walked to the testing center Thursday morning in February, and I did well on that essay. Same for crim pro, although I did actually study that (for MBEs, mainly.)
Not sure what that means. That's been true for me all through law school. I think if I just have a few rules, I tend to simply apply them in straightforward, clear language without making it more complicated and doing what I think I'm *supposed* to do, whatever that is. Sigh. Apparently more knowledge is dangerous for me.
brain is now mush.
Did okay for the morning, but I didn't eat anything at the lunch break, so after two hours of Con Law and Property in the afternoon, I was dizzy and couldn't see straight. Can I just say how much I despise Con Law? It's not even that it's THAT hard, it just brings back memories of the teacher I hated and the contentious arrogant people who were in my class... that was just a horrible year of class.
So now, I suck at Con Law as a result.
Property, on the other hand, I loved, but the lecture consisted of going over a really, really difficult real covenants and equitable servitudes question that makes my brain turn in circles.
But I did learn a few things, such as how I need to address my inadequacies at the more linear subjects like contracts. I'm going to do my own timeline, plugging in where every single little rule and doctrine goes, so when I get an essay, I have the visual breakdown, in order, in my head. My problem on organization is that I know the rules, but it doesn't seem like it, because I tend to say each rule as they come to me, not necessarily in the order they are supposed to go, as in, UCC 2-207 goes under acceptance, not interpretation of the contract terms.
I'm sure this is nothing new, and I could probably find some kind of study aid that does this for me, but the act of doing it and synthesizing the issues is the important part for me. That's how I learn it.
Oh, and I got my essays back from the February debacle, and I started reading them, and I just didn't get what was so bad about my torts essay. Seemed like I covered the issues, and in the proper order. I think I just lost holistic points because my language is not strong enough. I like to say "likely" and "may" and "could" instead of "will" and "is".
Ironically, I do the best on the subjects I know the least, like crim pro and trusts and wills. Trusts I did not study at all, except for checking the duties of a trustee five minutes before I walked to the testing center Thursday morning in February, and I did well on that essay. Same for crim pro, although I did actually study that (for MBEs, mainly.)
Not sure what that means. That's been true for me all through law school. I think if I just have a few rules, I tend to simply apply them in straightforward, clear language without making it more complicated and doing what I think I'm *supposed* to do, whatever that is. Sigh. Apparently more knowledge is dangerous for me.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Ah...
So, I drank a glass of wine, ate dinner with my family, looked at my finances, and this is all doable.
Two weeks more here, but my boss is on vacation next week, so really one more week. Next week I can do some studying in between medical records and carrier reports, since there's really nothing else going on.
Then it's go time. So far, this is the study plan.
M-W-F a.m. session: study one PT. This entails doing a PT up to a good outline (+/- 1 hour). Then, get out the graded answers for that PT from baressays.com and analyze what makes a 65, 70, 75, and 80 answer. What needs to be included, what should be glossed over, you get the picture. My main problem is I keep chunking one PT. I think it's a combination of reasons: 1) the time limit. I'm used to doing a bunch of other things at work and being able to drop something and come back later after it has gelled a bit, and there's no time for that on the PT, and 2) I tend to make tactical decisions, as I would in real life. I suspect this is a no-no on the bar. Like with essays, you address everything, even stuff that really is dumb to go through, just so you show that you went through all that and dismissed it mentally. I tend to write a document and purposely leave out certain things because of who the client is, what the causes of action are, etc.
T-Th a.m. session: Two-three practice essays. I've done so many essays between the last two times of studying that my only goal is to keep my practice up. In order to make this quick to get through logistically, I will probably just work my way through the Cheat Sheets book, doing all of those. When those run out, I'll go through the more recent ones on baressays.com. I plan on using the daylights out of that site. I am a visual learner and the way I got ready for exams all through law school was to do my outline, and then procure old exams and take them, reading the sample answer from someone who got a good score. Luckily, my school made them available in the library, because that allowed me to see what the instructor thought was a good essay and how they preferred to have answers phrased. I'm certain it got me graduating with honors, when I might not have otherwise.
T-W-Th- F p.m. session: MBEs. And not taking lots and lots of questions, but going methodically through and reading the question one at a time and making a flashcard for the right reasoning for the correct answer. This takes a LOT of time, as I am already finding. But, I actually remember the question and the reason for it, unlike the past, where they get all muddled in my brain and I can't remember what I put last time or whether I got it right last time.
Mon p.m. session: a set of MBEs for practice. Probably 50 at a time. I have no problem with speed, so I'm not worried about that. Just want to get some practice in answering consecutively and in random subject order and check my percentages.
Saturdays I am doing my bar prep class over that I took in January.
So, we'll see. I just need eleven more points. Eleven. More. Points.
Two weeks more here, but my boss is on vacation next week, so really one more week. Next week I can do some studying in between medical records and carrier reports, since there's really nothing else going on.
Then it's go time. So far, this is the study plan.
M-W-F a.m. session: study one PT. This entails doing a PT up to a good outline (+/- 1 hour). Then, get out the graded answers for that PT from baressays.com and analyze what makes a 65, 70, 75, and 80 answer. What needs to be included, what should be glossed over, you get the picture. My main problem is I keep chunking one PT. I think it's a combination of reasons: 1) the time limit. I'm used to doing a bunch of other things at work and being able to drop something and come back later after it has gelled a bit, and there's no time for that on the PT, and 2) I tend to make tactical decisions, as I would in real life. I suspect this is a no-no on the bar. Like with essays, you address everything, even stuff that really is dumb to go through, just so you show that you went through all that and dismissed it mentally. I tend to write a document and purposely leave out certain things because of who the client is, what the causes of action are, etc.
T-Th a.m. session: Two-three practice essays. I've done so many essays between the last two times of studying that my only goal is to keep my practice up. In order to make this quick to get through logistically, I will probably just work my way through the Cheat Sheets book, doing all of those. When those run out, I'll go through the more recent ones on baressays.com. I plan on using the daylights out of that site. I am a visual learner and the way I got ready for exams all through law school was to do my outline, and then procure old exams and take them, reading the sample answer from someone who got a good score. Luckily, my school made them available in the library, because that allowed me to see what the instructor thought was a good essay and how they preferred to have answers phrased. I'm certain it got me graduating with honors, when I might not have otherwise.
T-W-Th- F p.m. session: MBEs. And not taking lots and lots of questions, but going methodically through and reading the question one at a time and making a flashcard for the right reasoning for the correct answer. This takes a LOT of time, as I am already finding. But, I actually remember the question and the reason for it, unlike the past, where they get all muddled in my brain and I can't remember what I put last time or whether I got it right last time.
Mon p.m. session: a set of MBEs for practice. Probably 50 at a time. I have no problem with speed, so I'm not worried about that. Just want to get some practice in answering consecutively and in random subject order and check my percentages.
Saturdays I am doing my bar prep class over that I took in January.
So, we'll see. I just need eleven more points. Eleven. More. Points.
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