INXS...

I am watching One Tree Hill while doing my web changes for the attorney I am working for right now, and INXS is playing on the soundtrack.

Okay, I heard it, and yes, I watch One Tree Hill, and I make no apologies. I fully realize I am 1) too old because I am above the age of 13, 2) too unhip, because I always wonder why the girls are dressed like sluts, and 3) apparently also a friggin' dinosaur, since the "retro" music on this episode makes me wax nostalgic about freshman year of high school, for god's sake.

But still... the people are so pretty and "Never Tear Us Apart" is a good song.... I may need to get on itunes and download me some INXS, Black Crowes, Bobbie Brown, Salt n' Peppa, Restless Heart, old and therefore actually good Garth Brooks, Damn Yankees, Heart, Police, Sting, Van Halen, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mr. Big, Paula Abdul, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson and other assorted sundries that defined my high school years. Wow, that list is, for the most part, a whole load of crap music that I used to listen to.

I already did it for my college years. Made myself a playlist entitled "1998: Good Times".

Wow, I am old. On second thought, maybe I'll just update the website like I was s'posed to in the first place...

Babies...

My kids are no longer babies....

Of course, they try to act like babies on occasion, but I realized tonight at dinner, when both of them had a hamburger, on a bun, that they had fixed themselves, including tomato and pickle and avacado and bacon condiments.... and they ate them like real people.

Yup, kids, not babies.

Not sure if I'm sad or happy about that. Probably a little of both.

Wine...

Yesterday was fun...

We were invited by my friend L, to a wine club event at La Crema Winery. I didn't really know what it was, so I was impressed when we got there and were greeted with a reception including wine and delicious hor doerves featuring local cheeses and other ingredients. Then, we moved further into the barrel room and sat down to a family style luncheon amongst the chardonnay barrels. The arugula salad with peaches and sliced almonds was fantastic. There was also sliced duck breast that was accompanied with roasted fingerling potatoes. Yum, yum.

I was also finally able to try the Nine Barrel La Crema wines. The concept behind the Nine Barrel is that the wine maker goes through all the barrels as they are aging and samples to determine the best of the best and the best nine get marked up with chalk, not to be used under threat of death. Those special barrels are used to make this reserve offering. I must say, the pinot AND the chardonnay were both delicious. The pinot was a soft, mellow, nicely complex version of the regular La Crema Pinot Noir. My only criticism would be the price. At $75 a bottle, I didn't prefer it over the regular $25 Law Crema to warrant buying the Nine Barrel over the regular one.

The Chardonnay was a classic Kendall Jackson style (at least to my palate). One whiff and the butter jumped out at you. Pretty sure they used malolactic fermentation (which I clearly can't spell, but means they do a second bacterial fermentation in the barrel that produces that buttery richness you get in many chardonnays). It was nicely balanced with some good acidity and lush fruits: think lemon, peach, melon, and of course, butter.

Then we went to Joseph Swan to taste. I wasn't super impressed. Let me preface this review with my personal preferences. I don't enjoy dessert wines and I don't drink syrah or petite syrah. Since their offering included a syrah, which I didn't drink, and a couple of white wines that I didn't try, I was basing my evaluation on a few reds. The pinot noirs were okay. Not so great I wanted to drink more, but decent. Then there were two zinfandels. The first was a 1998, that was surprisingly serviceable, but I wasn't blown away for the price. The second was a newer zin, and when the tasting room person warned me it has some residual sugar, I should have been warned off. It was like a mouthful of blueberry syrup. Bleck.

Then we went to Gary Farrell and, after tasting, bought a few things: Hallberg Pinot Noir and Russian River Pinot Noir and Encounter. Finally, we ended our day at Arista. Arista has a small collection of wines, but they are consistently delicious. They make a dry gewurtztraminer that is absolutely fabulous, and I am not a white wine drinker generally. I actually had a bottle of that with a friend at lunch a couple of weeks ago and it was the perfect summer lunch accompaniment. They also had two 2006 Pinot Noirs that were light, fruity (lots of cherry, raspberry, and strawberry), slightly earthy, and just downright good. I was glad to see that their wines have become less cranberry heavy. That has been my only complaint of their wines in the past- heavy cranberry flavors that overpower the other elements in the wine.

The tasting room at Arista is also beautiful. We have actually taken friends there and picnicked on the grounds, under the oak trees, and had a lovely time. They have a carefully crafted garden of natural rocks and ponds, with a winding path that invites a slow walk with a taste of their delicious wines. And the tasting room staff is super nice. I just enjoy that place every single time I go there. I highly recommend them on all fronts.

Then later we had a couple of friends over and played a little poker, drinking some of our newly purchased Gary Farrell. I did not do well at the poker, though. Hubby took all my chips a few times.

So, I had a wonderful day full of relaxation with friends and delicious wine and fabulous food. Now I just have to figure out how to duplicate that dressing for the peach and arugula salad...

Plan...

So, someone asked what my long term study plan is for February.

Well, I wish I could say I have a plan. The only plan I have right this second is NOT to plan my life around the bar right now.

I don't know what the "secret" to the bar exam is. There is no explanation for me not passing the bar. I did well in law school, clerked at good firms, am bright and a good writer, and I put in the time and effort. It could be a lot of things: financial worries during both times I was studying, childcare issues that provided a distraction, husband also taking exam and providing a distraction, not taking Barbri, not taking the whole summer (or winter) off to study, or (my personal belief) just plain exhaustion.

I went to night law school so I could be a SAHM. That means I did school at least three nights a week for four years, with about a week off during the entire year. I didn't have summers off to travel or just relax or work. Often, during the one week break between semesters (which, incidentally, I still had to do homework during, because, as you all know, there is an reading assignment for the first night of class) I would have plans that I was just too tired to follow through on. I distinctly remember being too tired to go see The Lion King with my family, even though I had bought the tickets months before, because I was exhausted from finals.

Similarly, I have not experienced vacations since law school began. We won a four day cruise to Mexico and went on that the week before finals late in law school, and we spent a weekend at Disneyland somewhere in there, but that is all. Ironically, I got the best midterm grades ever after that vacation. I think the fact that I actually relaxed and enjoyed myself a bit brought about that stellar exam performance.

I know that I arrived at bar study with a feeling of complete and utter exhaustion and dread. Like many things in law school, I did not want to do it, I did not care, and I just wanted to jump through that hoop and be done with it. However, when you are so tired from working and studying that you maintain a migraine level headache for five weeks, this is really, really not the time to be taking the test of your life.

But I didn't really get that. I thought, like many others things I had done before, I could push on through and still do what needed to be done.

I don't think that's true of the bar. It is a war of attrition, and when you enter the battle on a horse with a lame leg, and no sword and shield, you really can't expect to win the battle OR the war. But that is what I did.

So, now, the goal is to get away from that 'struggling not to drown' mentality. It's weird what happens when you know that you are no longer required to do something. You start to give yourself permission. Permission to think of other things, consider other possibilities. Does it matter if I never take the California Bar again? Nope. Will I take it again? Yup. Will I do better next time? Yup. If I don't pass, will I be unemployable? No way.

And that's okay. It's all.... Okay.

So that's the plan right now. And I honestly think it's the best thing I can do for myself at this time.

Decompression...

Sorry for the non-posting lately. I have managed not to think about the bar for two whole weeks. It's fabulous.

Clean house, clean yard, clean kids, happy husband, happy kids.

My last day of work, Big J made me presents at daycare/school. One was a pearler bead "I love mommy" sign and the other was a watermelon-painted dish. She spent an hour in her room wrapping them carefully and the note that accompanied them said, "I love you mommy. You are the best mommy in the whole world. I am glad you are out of work."

Hee, hee.

Watching movies, gardening, reading books, entering cooking contests, lunch with friends, garage sale preparation, going to the gym, entertaining.... it's amazing how fun life is when you aren't thinking about the damn bar exam.

Got a gig doing marketing for a solo practitioner, and since I no longer pay for childcare, I more than doubled my net pay.

Aaaaahhhhh......